Happy friggin' Monday... I'm in a rut. Not a big fat rut. Just a little rut. But a rut, no less. What's new, right? I always have emotional turmoil going on in my head... it's how I function. The truth is, I don't know any other way to be. Chaos in my mind makes complete sense to me. I don't know what I would do if something wasn't bouncing around up there. Is it too much? I have no idea. I feel like everyone has some shit going on, so I know I'm not completely crazy. It's just hard to function because I don't know what I want. I mean, I think I know... but pushing that thought further only makes me tired. I can give anyone else advice, come to me for free therapy! But when it comes to managing my shit, I hit the snooze button as many times as I can. 5 more minutes please...
I'm trying to clear out the clutter in my life. Yet another thing that makes me crazy. I surround myself with music, movies and books and then I get pissed when I have nowhere to put them in a studio apartment... Hello, I'm a moron. If you wanna buy my shit, feel free to browse here http://shops.half.ebay.com/leejay824_W0QQ_trksidZp2919. If not, no biggie. I just need to remove the clutter. Even though I'm sitting here looking at a laundry bag filled with clean clothes that need to be put away, bills that I haven't opened yet or opened but didn't look at yet because I was running out the door as quick as I came in, a box of clothes that need to be posted on eBay but I'm too lazy to write explanations... and I'm complaining about clutter. Oh, and dishes need to be washed as well.
I'm getting rid of the Feng Shui books. Fuck that shit. I live in a studio apartment, how the fuck am I going to move the stove to a place that will change the fucking universe and fix my financial situation?! It fits in ONE spot in the kitchen, that's where it's staying. I don't understand how people live by that stuff. I've been to a house or two that has literally nothing in it. Yea, mine is jammed with shit, but it's fun stuff that makes me smile. Mementos collecting dust, but they're memories of a time when life was simple. So how do you live without anything so that the sun can hit something a certain way that will change your life? How the fuck do you live like that? Maybe I'm a pack rat, but I'm not hoarder status, YET. If I get to that point do one of two things... 1. Shoot me OR 2. At least make us some money and get us on one of the Hoarders show... hey, my crazy can be your gain too. I'm so generous.
Anyway, life is breezing on by like it always does. It's August. I need to up my alcoholism before the summer is done. That's all I want. To be drunk for one night so I can dance like no one is watching and laugh my ass off. I'll deal with the bullshit the next morning. Hungover at 3o is no fucking fun, but most of the time it's worth it. I just want to be someone other than me sometimes. I'm such a fucking downer during the week. But a little beer changes all that shit. I'm not an alcoholic, but trust me, if that was an actual profession, I would change careers INSTANTLY. Let me know if Career Builders ever posts that on their site pleaseandthankyou.
I guess that's all for today. Just felt like writing. Special friend will be home soon, that makes me happy. He was working some DUMB schedule for like a month and we never got to see each other. Now we are back to some normal working hours, so I can't wait to be awake to see him walk in the door. I hope everyone is having an OK Monday... doesn't have to be great, it's almost over.
Thanks for reading...
you made it back to sleep again... wonder what you're dreaming...
