Sunday, January 1, 2012

Shake It Off/ 2011: Year in Review...

I am done with my graceless heart so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart... 'cause I like to keep my issues strong, it's always darkest before the dawn...

2011 was quite a year. I discovered a lot of things about myself. I thought that at age 30 I would have it all figured out. That my life would make sense and I wouldn't have any more questions about where I'm going and what I'm doing. Turns out, I'm just as confused as I was when I was a teenager. Not much has changed. I'm still broke. I'm still crazy. I still have no clue what the fuck this whole life thing is about but that's ok. I did a lot of stupid and selfish things in 2011 and I'm putting an end to that on the 1st day of 2012. I'm saying goodbye to the what ifs, the what could be's and the what could have been's. It's stupid and a waste of time.

2011 was rough for Special Friend and I. The emotions were such a roller coaster. I couldn't keep up with my feelings or what was going on in my brain. I rationalized the most ridiculous actions because I was afraid of committing myself fully to the one person who loves me no matter what. I leave behind a trail of regrets in 2011 as I make my way into 2012. I learned a lot, but the biggest lesson I learned was that everything I will ever need is right in front of me and I need to wake the fuck up before I lose it. I walk into 2012 hoping to become a better person. A better lover and friend for the man who wants me to stay exactly the way I am. And I'm done with all the bullshit. It's all clear now. It was clear before, but I am paying attention to how clear it is now.

On a lighter note, 2011 was an EPIC year for #teamdirtygirls and all other hash tags that stemmed from it. We made beautifully irresponsible decisions together and had a blast doing it. Some of the craziest and fun times have been logged in my gray matter that I won't ever forget. I am so grateful for these girls. We kicked 2011's ass, and I know in my heart that 2012 can only be better.

2011 was the year of my nose. I had surgery, healed up nicely, breathed better... AND the body part that I have hated the most in my life ever is the one that landed me on TV. Score: Me-0, Schnoz-1. If you missed the Dr. Oz show with me and my gorgeous sinus cavity, check it out here: http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/winter-sinus-solutions-pt-1 and http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/winter-sinus-solutions-pt-2. YES I am still shamelessly promoting that. Fuck it, I was on TV.

In pop culture world- 2011 was a great year for Pitbull. Dude made a cameo in pretty much every song and did pretty good on his own. Every white girl walking the planet has dubbed "Give Me Everything" as "her song"... I'm totally fucking guilty of that. That song is off the hook. Katy Perry and Russell Brand are getting divorced! WHAAT?? Beyonce and Jay-Z are having a gazillion dollar offspring. Lucky little bugger won't ever have to do anything ever in his/her life with those 2 as parents. Sofia Vergara was a spokeswoman for every type of fucking thing ever. Eeecy Breecy Beeeautifool Cober Gurl. Everybody in app land became a photographer because of the instagram app. You could take a picture of a pile of shit and instagram will make it sparkle. Charlie Sheen went batshit crazy, but really, who was surprised by that?? I think that's all I wanna say about pop culture.

Here's to 2012. I'm not gonna put too much pressure on it. I did that to 2011 and it couldn't handle the pressure and kinda slacked a little bit. So I'm just going to vow to be a better me. I'm not gonna say I'm gonna cut the crap and make promises that I can't keep, but I'm going to pay attention to things that matter and stop worrying about shit that doesn't. I am going to be a better me. Clean slate and all that jazz. It's going to be a great year because I am going to make it happen. This is it 2012, let's do this.

I hope everyone had a happy and safe time celebrating, cheers...

Thanks for reading...

and it's hard to dance with the devil on your back so shake him off...